In today’s podcast, I share the essence of what you read here. It is not identical but covers the main points.
Today I woke at 5 am. Not by choice but because my body decided.
When this happens, and it’s been happening more lately with all the big energies, I use this time to clear my energy, ground, shield, and connect to the larger energies of my I AM self.
This morning in that twilight meditative space, I received a new awareness of how my energy has been confused. It’s simple and profoundly life-changing and related to being an empath.
I’m sharing with you in hopes that it might help you.
I’ve been an empath my whole life but didn’t learn what it meant until my mid-30s.
Even then I didn’t fully understand what implications that had for me. I just knew it explained why I could sense others, why I would get really exhausted around people and crowds, and why I could understand so well what others needed.
Since that time I’ve learned a few things about how I flow energy as an empath. Because, Learning Number One for me, all empaths flow energy. Often they flow THEIR energy to their own detriment and depletion.
While everyone is different as an empath, I’ve experienced some commonalities.
Empaths sense others’ feelings and emotions. Sometimes more clearly than the person experiencing them.
As a result, we have developed coping mechanisms that often have to do with doing what we can to ease the other person’s feelings by attempting to uplift the person in some way.
We do this because when we are able to ease the other person then WE will feel the relief as well. And I believe we often learned this when we were very young as an unconscious coping mechanism.
As we get older, we continue the behavior without much thought – because it really isn’t something we talk about openly or acknowledge legitimately as a sense.
Every other empath I’ve met agrees and relates to what I’ve shared above.
Here’s what most empaths don’t know and find helpful when I share it.
When you are uplifting someone else you are often flowing energy to them to fill them in energetically where they need it.
The energy you flow to them is often coming from your energy field, which is why you can feel drained and worn out after being with others or at work.
The energy you flow to them is also something you are not even aware you are doing. (I wasn’t aware I was doing it but once I perceived it, it made perfect sense.) When you use your energy to help others in this way you are actually interfering with the other person’s development and autonomy.
You do not have to flow your energy to them and can actually realign your energy system to flow Source energy to them instead. When you do, you create more autonomy in your energy field for yourself and the other person, while also freeing up your energy to be available for you to use for yourself. And you allow for Source to deliver a much more aligned upliftment to the other person.
I’ve spent a good 2/3s of my life not consciously aware of how I work with energy so I’ve just poured myself out to others all the time. In the workplace, with my businesses, with my spouse and kids, with my mom, with friends.
Because of this, I developed all kinds of coping mechanisms to manage life so I wouldn’t get too exhausted. And I developed mental justifications to handle the dissonance of not being able to support myself while still being able to help and support everyone else.
A big part of my awakening journey involved deconstructing and untangling all of that. And for me it meant really coming to understand the way energy moves for me.
To be clear, I don’t see energy or feel energy as some people can, but I can know/perceive energy. I figure it’s part of the way I perceive things as a clairecognizant, but there are also some small pieces of seeing-but-not-seeing and feeling-but-more-like-perceiving. (If you understood that sentence, then you get a gold star! but that’s the best I can do with what English offers us when speaking about senses.)
This morning I could perceive how my energy was flowing out to my business, trying to figure out what it needed to be uplifted.
It was a replica for how my energy used moved in an empathic response to a person to figure out what they needed to be uplifted. I’ve been running an unconscious pattern of attempting to empath my business, with the way I flow my energy.
It makes absolutely perfect sense.
As humans, we create habitual behaviors and patterns. Not just in the physical realm but also in the mental, emotional, and in the energetic realms.
I’ve learned since I was a child to ‘check in’ with others to see if what I want to do will be helpful to them. To see if what I want is okay or agreeable. I can determine all of this well before I take any action on what I want.
And as a child, I learned to modify my wants so that the empath-feedback-loop I had with my mother, my teachers, my friends was telling me it would create positive emotions in them. If they were happy and feeling good, then I would feel it and in turn feel better because what I sensed felt better in my body.
Of course, this was all an unconscious pattern for decades. I have now learned to stop that pattern with people but never would have realized the same behavior pattern would play out with my business.
Here’s what it looked like with people:
As an empath I check in with the energy of another.
I assess often without conscious thought what that person needs.
I determine what is needed to uplift them.
Here’s what the same thing looks like when I do it with my business:
My energy checks in with my business.
I attempt to figure out what my business needs – to grow, to serve my clients, to make money.
I don’t feel entirely clear or solid in the response I get back but keep trying to find the equivalent certainty that I know so well when I used to do this with people. Fellow empaths, you know what I mean right?
So I’ve been in a type of constant seeking mode. Constantly seeking that ‘hit’ of certainty that we get as empaths when we know we are helping someone feel better.
It was so eye-opening for me to see this.
When I send my energy to check in with my business, and I am the business owner and creator, I am essentially sending my energy out of my field into an illusion. There is no way for that energy loop to complete itself.
In asking my business what it would need, (think: what can I do to please or uplift you, my business?) I am looking for what I can do to ‘get it right’ and ‘be successful’. My business will never be able to provide an answer in that instance. Because, as we know, we have to look to ourselves first.
I have to center the energy with me first. I have to check in with MY ENERGY first and use it to guide me with what is most aligned with my energy, my soul, at this time. Then that will inform how I take that choice out to my business, and from there out into the circle my business serves.
I thought I was leading my business. But it turns out, when I look at the flow of energy, no one was really leading my business. And I certainly wasn’t honoring myself with this habit/pattern.
As a result, I have felt uncertain in my choices most of the time. I’ve also continually been seeking more clarity. I keep looking for that ‘click’ that mimics the ‘hit.’
When I take a moment, close my eyes, and redirect the energy so that instead of reaching it out to my business I send it into me and the field of all possibilities I’ve created for myself, I feel a new kind of calm. I also feel like a lot more sparks light up in the field of possibilities around me.
Learning how we flow our energy is leading-edge in this new earth, 5D energy.
And I believe it is an essential skill that’s important for us to hone in order create the life we want.
There will be times when what is slowing us down or holding us back are old limiting beliefs. But for those of us who’ve been doing the work and healing our past and inner child, it’s time to look beyond what we’ve learned so far.
There’s more available to us that has been freed up to use to create the ease and joy we want, in our lives and our business.
That’s what I’m realizing is happening as I acknowledge and honor this expanded understanding of myself as an energy being.
There is a flow and ease that I can tell is cracking open possibilities that have been waiting for me. They are beginning to bloom.
I know they are there for you too.
Let me know if this resonates with you or if you have questions.
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How being an empath has been slowing me down in business