quiet fury at the inadequacy of our lost wisdom
What we’ve forgotten about mentorship, and what every woman in her 40s must remember
I have been graced with some of the absolutely most miraculous mentorship women. Truly. I am fortunate to be in a field with women who move energy through spirit in such diverse ways.
One woman shared with me how she is so completely aware of her energy and how it’s engaging with the container we created for Get Going Get Growing. One of the stories she shared was a response from her teacher that she termed as ‘cold.’ It reflected back to her a familiar pattern of negativity, criticism or rejection when she’s showing up fully.
What I find amazing is how she took that response, really attuned to her energy and reaction and noticed how the growth unfurled for her. She shared how she could see the teacher’s response actually giving her the opportunity to find her own strength within herself. In essence, to validate herself.
What’s extraordinary is what she did with that experience. Rather than collapse into the old pattern, she listened within. She saw how that “coldness” gave her the opportunity to source her strength from within. She realized she could validate herself.
And this is where I want to pause – because the nuance of that moment is sacred.
Our society has completely lost the deep wisdom contained within the ancient practice of teacher-student, mentor-mentee relationships. Inherent in that relationship is the understanding that at some point the student-mentee will graduate. They will become a peer to the teacher-mentor.
I like to believe that in older times this had structure and grace. That mentors recognized the moment of shift and honored it.
That transition is essential - for both the teacher and the student. The teacher must know and realize that at some point the student will become their teacher, specifically because they will bring new wisdom and perspective into the world. The student must know and realize that they will become the teacher and claim their own authority as a peer and colleague to their teacher.
In some small ways this exists in the modern world. We graduate college or high school and mark the end of that stage of being a student. It exists in the field of medicine. I know it exists in Germany where students apprentice in their craft.
However, it is so insignificant by comparison to what is needed.
Every woman moving through her 40s (and sometimes 50s) is on that journey to her own mastery.
Many of the women I’ve worked with have shared stories where their previous teacher or mentor effectively attempted to dim their light by seeing them as somehow inadequate or wrong - because they had reached a stage where they didn’t take the teacher’s words as law, stepped into a varied interpretation of what the teacher offered or showed up with a larger presence or vision than that of the teacher.
Hear this: as a student, that is exactly what you are here to do.
See beyond what your teacher offers. To evolve the lineage.
Present ways and perspectives that are different from your teacher.
Take the stage and shine with all your light.
If you are a mentor or teacher, know this: it is up to you to build your own way to take your student through their initiation into their own mastery. They will be your peer - prepare them.
And if you did your job well, they will become your teacher.
To my mentee I offer her this message:
You are the wise woman. Teacher, guide and mentor to your students.
You have within you the wisdom of creation and are here to guide others to their own understanding of their wisdom. Know your brilliance. Claim it.
Step forward and stand beside me - and the other wise women I stand with - as mentor, teacher and student. You are my teacher and I am honored to learn from you.
The vision you carry matters.
If you’re building your business from a place of intuition, soul, and steady devotion -and want support to stay true to that path - my paid community, Bring It to Life is for you.
Love this...