Shifting out of the 'grow your email-list' struggle

... when growing an email list doesn't often feel aligned

For all the years I’ve been in solo business, which happens to be just about as long as social media has existed, the conventional wisdom has guided us to grow our email list.

It makes sense. An email list is a group of people who know you, know your work, are interested, and, from a business mindset, are most likely to buy from you.

And given that sense-making, there are clearly defined and accepted practices for growing your email list. We are taught to offer something valuable in exchange for an email address. There are whole courses and programs to teach you how to do this. There are example after example of people who’ve grown their list who share that doing so helped them grow their business.

And yet… no matter how much sense it has made, I’ve never really been able to bring myself to ‘do the things.’

I want to write when it matters, not on a schedule.

I want to share meaningful content, which doesn’t arrive with the snap of a finger.

My work doesn’t translate to 'freebie opt-ins.’

I could go on, but the reality is that when we listen to our intuition, aim for inner alignment and live by it, growing an email list doesn’t often feel aligned. And for many of us, it often doesn’t feel fun or inspired.

I have my own theory on why that is.

Many of the email list growth practices, commoditize people. When you use opt-ins, the person who opts in is unknown. You don’t really have a relationship with them at all. It’s like a transaction, like ordering pasta on Amazon.

There really isn’t connection and connection is key when you are intuitive.

Since you don’t have a connection with your commodity, those traditional email practices encourage you to build a relationship by sending a sequence of emails. And you then build that relationship-building-sequence off of idealized customers, offering them more info and opportunities to engage with you.

All of this made sense when digital businesses, the internet and social media were getting started. And for many people and situations this can work beautifully.

But for deeply relationship-focused businesses, it doesn’t work or or feel good.

For highly intuitive women offering work that is personal, experiential and transformational, it doesn't work or feel good.

And in this time where free content and email over-load is real, it doesn’t work or feel good.

I believe we are at an inflection point; one where we are living through an evolution of what email lists and email marketing will become.

Author Penney Peirce shares in her book Transparency that we are moving out of the Information Era into the Intuition Era. I believe this is key to why so many highly intuitive women have wrestled with ‘growing their email lists.’

When you lead with your intuition and how you feel, most of the practices and models that were designed to comfort our mind, feel off. Things that require us to over-ride our intuition or practices that do not honor the individual become heavy weights of requirements and ‘shoulds.’

Plans, goals, schedules and automations, sooth our linear, logical mind, but can become obstacles when you are inventing what it is to live from your intuition.

The puzzle now is to create something more organic that can flex and adapt to our sensitive, intuitive natures.

Here are some observations I can offer:

Accept that relationship and connection are important to you. Be clear on what degree of relationship matters to you. The quick flow of social media may feel right for some. And others may want something that is deeper with more dialogue.

Give yourself permission to break the ‘rules.’ Let’s accept that having a group of people you can directly reach out to is valuable. How you do so, is up to you. Mix it up. Get creative. Try different things till you find something that brings you joy that you can build momentum with.

Get creative with the tools - use them differently. We have so many new tools becoming available now, like Substack. Find some and take a look at how you can use them in ways that support your ideal relationship and your personal rules. Or take a look at what you are using through a new lens. How would you use the tech you do have differently to support your relationships?

If you’re struggling, it’s a sign you are trying to over-ride your intuition. I wished I’d known and honored this earlier. Step back, take a new look at the situation and figure out the better way for you that your intuition is guiding your to, and then work toward it.

And if you’d like to see how I’m using Substack to evolve my relationship with my email practices, just as I’ve shared here, please join me this week on my free workshop here.

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